Off Topic · Please watch my movie!!! (page 1)

Martin/Andrew can I get a sticky for this?
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=...
Here is the info:
An ex-convict comes home from prison and tries to get his nephews life on the right track, while struggling with getting his own together.
15 minutes.
Based on a story written by Killa4luv
Adapted by William Sutphin and Killa4luv
Directed by William Sutphin

its google video so I didn't know how to embed it.
Please comment and rate it and just state how you honestly feel, I want constructive feedback.

Note: Although my name is Kai, I am not acting in this film, nor is it my life story.




[Edited by - killa4luv on 04-17-2008 01:22 AM]

why you leave us with that soprano sh t?

btw, lemme get charise's #...i may be able to help her out...

Posted by djsunyc:

why you leave us with that soprano sh t?

btw, lemme get charise's #...i may be able to help her out...

You mean Keisha. She's nice, I wish they would have shown more of her.

Killa, I'm gonna be straight up with you, I think your movie is pretty good. I wish it didn't end on such a cliff-hanger.

My only comments:

1. I wish we knew what Uncle did to land in prison and if he really did snitch, although I'm sure either it's going to be explained in a sequel or it was left out on purpose.

2. Need more Keisha, not only because she's pretty good looking but because she was mentioned a ton but only had about 2 minutes on the screen - didn't seem to equal out.

Honestly other than that, I thought it was good Killa. Good acting by everyone, good story, I'm anxious to see more.

It was interesting to watch, if it was made into 1.5 hrs tho some obvious things would have to be put in, but if this was a previw i'd wanna watch the full movie. Good job man

It's hard to stuff an hour and a half story into 15 minutes. Seems like too many cut aways and not enough time getting to know the characters. Are you the ex-con in the story? Good acting, good effort. Not bad. Cinematography and some of the lighting wasn't bad either.

We once had a conversation with George Tillman Jr. HIs advice was 'no matter what you do, if you are a film maker, the most important thing is to keep making films. Docs, shorts, whatever you can get in. Just keep making film if you want to make it in the business'.

Hey Killa , I see you got over 100 hits but ony 5 replies.

The movie was bang on, I like the roles the mom and the uncle play they are so realistic.

This was very entertaining and showed how much guidance in the hood, young people need when friends control their lives.

Shorty was playing her boyfriend just to get some man sausage.

Looked like uncle was leaving to go and find the lady friend his sister was trying to turn him on to, knowing he needs to get some and Keisha made his nature rise.

Also looked like the shower scene , told a little about uncle's life in Prison. Would love to see the sequel.

Pretty good killa , keep it up.

[Edited by - playa2 on 17-04-2008 07:43]

Posted by Killa4luv:

Martin/Andrew can I get a sticky for this?
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=...
Here is the info:
An ex-convict comes home from prison and tries to get his nephews life on the right track, while struggling with getting his own together.
15 minutes.
Based on a story written by Killa4luv
Adapted by William Sutphin and Killa4luv
Directed by William Sutphin

its google video so I didn't know how to embed it.
Please comment and rate it and just state how you honestly feel, I want constructive feedback.

Note: Although my name is Kai, I am not acting in this film, nor is it my life story.




[Edited by - killa4luv on 04-17-2008 01:22 AM]

It may not be your life story, but I know you got this from a "real life" situation.

Most dramatic movies is at least 50-75 percent truth to it.

Posted by playa2:

It may not be your life story, but I know you got this from a "real life" situation.

Most dramatic movies is at least 50-75 percent truth to it.

Exactly, I've never been to prison, dont have a nephew, but it was very easy to write never the less.
It aint my story but its still, figuratively speaking, based on a true story.

I'm anxious to see it. Maybe tomorrow.

Posted by EnySpree:

I'm anxious to see it. Maybe tomorrow.

yea.. me too. Cant see at work and heading to the Yanks tonight. Will check out this weekend. Good to catch up the other night amigo

Posted by fishmike:

Posted by EnySpree:

I'm anxious to see it. Maybe tomorrow.

yea.. me too. Cant see at work and heading to the Yanks tonight. Will check out this weekend. Good to catch up the other night amigo

I was at the game last night. Simply awesome atmosphere.

I think it was a good start for your first movie. Before you know it your craft will be perfected. Prison life is hard for many to rehabilitate themselves when they get out. So many find themselves right back in. Remember the prisons did take away the many of the trades and degrees out of the prisons. Many of the library books got replaced with weights, tv and other working out tools.

Just watched it Killa. Great job. Here are my comments, I hope you find them constructive.

There are obvious constraints on the story-telling because the film is so short. Certain scenes could use more meat in them. Though, even the short scenes serve their purpose and move the story along. I'm glad that I can honestly tell you that I felt the movie compelled me to watch it start to finish. The biggest problem I usually see with people's first efforts is that the story drags. I've seen it happen even in short films. That didn't happen here. That says a lot about your instinct for timing and flow.

I noticed that aside from the cut scenes, most of the movie didn't have any musical accompaniment. I can see this is a purely stylistic decision that works both ways. Without a score during the main scenes, things feel gritty and real, there is a rawness to it. However, using a score can help draw out the emotions you are trying communicate. A well done score can really help. A poorly done score can be really cheesy. Here, your choice not to really use one worked.

Good job bro. You gotta use one of my band's songs in a movie.

Posted by eViL:

Just watched it Killa. Great job. Here are my comments, I hope you find them constructive.

There are obvious constraints on the story-telling because the film is so short. Certain scenes could use more meat in them. Though, even the short scenes serve their purpose and move the story along. I'm glad that I can honestly tell you that I felt the movie compelled me to watch it start to finish. The biggest problem I usually see with people's first efforts is that the story drags. I've seen it happen even in short films. That didn't happen here. That says a lot about your instinct for timing and flow.

I noticed that aside from the cut scenes, most of the movie didn't have any musical accompaniment. I can see this is a purely stylistic decision that works both ways. Without a score during the main scenes, things feel gritty and real, there is a rawness to it. However, using a score can help draw out the emotions you are trying communicate. A well done score can really help. A poorly done score can be really cheesy. Here, your choice not to really use one worked.

Good job bro. You gotta use one of my band's songs in a movie.

thanks for the feedback and definitely that would be too hot to use one of your band's songs in a movie. YOu know I only wrote it, my friend produced and directed it, so honestly i can't take credit for how well or poorly the scoring was done. I'm working on another short and trying to finish the movie that 'Uncle Killa' was lifted from. The full length film will be drastically different, my friend changed alot to make the 15 minute short.

Posted by eViL:


I noticed that aside from the cut scenes, most of the movie didn't have any musical accompaniment.

ANd that's coming from the music man himself. Good point and if you do use it next time, keep it soft and fady (in and out), avoiding overlapping the script. But I don't need to tell you that. I can already see that you know what your doing. lol

Posted by Killa4luv:

I only wrote it, my friend produced and directed it, so honestly i can't take credit for how well or poorly the scoring was done. I'm working on another short and trying to finish the movie that 'Uncle Killa' was lifted from. The full length film will be drastically different, my friend changed alot to make the 15 minute short.

Then pass the good words onto him to.

Just want to thank everyone for commenting, and make one last plea for responses because i think there is something to be learned from you criticisms. In any event thanks to everyone and Martin & Andrew for giving me a week of sticky time to allow people see it. I really appreciate everything from everyone here. thanks.

btw, i'm gonna email this thread to the director.