Off Topic · This is how I feel (page 1)

do {
    work;
    hair--;
    if (hair) white_hair++;
    stress++;
    age++;
    weight++;
    debt++;
} while(!dead)

NYKBocker wrote:

do {
    work;
    hair--;
    if (hair) white_hair++;
    stress++;
    age++;
    weight++;
    debt++;
} while(!dead)

sadly, i understand

jimimou wrote:this looks very interesting - if i only knew what it meant, i'd participate too.

Basically, it is a loop.

You work.
You lose your hair.
If you still have hair then it turns white.
Stress adds up.
You get older.
You gain weight.
Your debt increases.
You keep doing this until you are dead.

So that's why I do a lot of drugs and I just live my life day-to-day. They say be responsible and get a good career so you can pursue the American Dream. But you'll just end up with a mortgage that you cant pay for, a job that sucks, a wife you cant stand, a bunch of fat ungrateful kids, and a society that will tell you that you arent good enough.

And if you are able to somehow make it --- that wife of yours is gunna run off with some a-hole and take half of all your shyt cause thats the law.

Fukk this world, ya'll. Do what makes you happy. dont have kids. Be yourself and dont trust a gawddamn soul.

sebstar wrote:Nas and Az laid it out a long time ago...Life's a bitch and then you die. Well, I'm sure somebody said it before them, but nobody put it down as cold as they did.

So that's why I do a lot of drugs and I just live my life day-to-day. They say be responsible and get a good career so you can pursue the American Dream. But you'll just end up with a mortgage that you cant pay for, a job that sucks, a wife you cant stand, a bunch of fat ungrateful kids, and a society that will tell you that you arent good enough.

And if you are able to somehow make it --- that wife of yours is gunna run off with some a-hole and take half of all your shyt cause thats the law.

Fukk this world, ya'll. Do what makes you happy. dont have kids. Be yourself and dont trust a gawddamn soul.

I stopped partying, met the most wonderful women, Married almost 25 years(she same weight as in college, when she modeled) worked my ass off, built a career,equity, equity in real estate, had two skinny ass kids who work hard and have high self esteem, and pretty much still having a blast all these year traveling and great family moments!

Still had that heart attack and by-pass but thats genetics.

You know, if my time was up I'd be happier than most and it was a good life. I told this to my wife when they took me off for surgery but it was "just in case". Didn't want her to think I did not appreciate it. My "procedure" was pretty routine but it does make you think.

You know, if you have a shit attidude you gonna have a shit life Sebby! Mine turned out much better than I thought. My prospects out of high school was not that great. Why? Liked to party to supress what hurt. Things were not always great growing up

Phuch the world and the world will phuch you back. you get out what you put in.

Nalod wrote:

sebstar wrote:Nas and Az laid it out a long time ago...Life's a bitch and then you die. Well, I'm sure somebody said it before them, but nobody put it down as cold as they did.

So that's why I do a lot of drugs and I just live my life day-to-day. They say be responsible and get a good career so you can pursue the American Dream. But you'll just end up with a mortgage that you cant pay for, a job that sucks, a wife you cant stand, a bunch of fat ungrateful kids, and a society that will tell you that you arent good enough.

And if you are able to somehow make it --- that wife of yours is gunna run off with some a-hole and take half of all your shyt cause thats the law.

Fukk this world, ya'll. Do what makes you happy. dont have kids. Be yourself and dont trust a gawddamn soul.

I stopped partying, met the most wonderful women, Married almost 25 years(she same weight as in college, when she modeled) worked my ass off, built a career,equity, equity in real estate, had two skinny ass kids who work hard and have high self esteem, and pretty much still having a blast all these year traveling and great family moments!

Still had that heart attack and by-pass but thats genetics.

You know, if my time was up I'd be happier than most and it was a good life. I told this to my wife when they took me off for surgery but it was "just in case". Didn't want her to think I did not appreciate it. My "procedure" was pretty routine but it does make you think.

You know, if you have a shit attidude you gonna have a shit life Sebby! Mine turned out much better than I thought. My prospects out of high school was not that great. Why? Liked to party to supress what hurt. Things were not always great growing up

Phuch the world and the world will phuch you back. you get out what you put in.

I'm glad things have worked out for you. There are always exceptions to the rule.

But lets look at the divorce rates in this country. Household debt, suicide rates...depression. I think that has more to do with the pursuit of the "American dream"

And finding people that respect someone that is a good person and has a positive outlook is almost needle in a haystack status.

I'm cool with my life. I just learning not to trust or believe in people and its working.

Kick off drugs a few years and you'll realize your retarding your emotional growth and coping skills. Allow the pain to be felt and you'll not fear. Being afraid is not reason not to try.

Don't compromize yourself by not trying......

Nalod wrote:THe persuit of the "american Dream" when viewed thru the materialistic point is false. Drugs, big screen TV's, Big leased cars, Big ass houses are all temptations to distract and dull your inner sense.

Kick off drugs a few years and you'll realize your retarding your emotional growth and coping skills. Allow the pain to be felt and you'll not fear. Being afraid is not reason not to try.

Don't compromize yourself by not trying......

'Preciate the advice, but I'm not seeing what you're seeing.

I'm not strong enough to take the hurt and I think society rewards the worst.

sebstar wrote:

Nalod wrote:

sebstar wrote:Nas and Az laid it out a long time ago...Life's a bitch and then you die. Well, I'm sure somebody said it before them, but nobody put it down as cold as they did.

So that's why I do a lot of drugs and I just live my life day-to-day. They say be responsible and get a good career so you can pursue the American Dream. But you'll just end up with a mortgage that you cant pay for, a job that sucks, a wife you cant stand, a bunch of fat ungrateful kids, and a society that will tell you that you arent good enough.

And if you are able to somehow make it --- that wife of yours is gunna run off with some a-hole and take half of all your shyt cause thats the law.

Fukk this world, ya'll. Do what makes you happy. dont have kids. Be yourself and dont trust a gawddamn soul.

I stopped partying, met the most wonderful women, Married almost 25 years(she same weight as in college, when she modeled) worked my ass off, built a career,equity, equity in real estate, had two skinny ass kids who work hard and have high self esteem, and pretty much still having a blast all these year traveling and great family moments!

Still had that heart attack and by-pass but thats genetics.

You know, if my time was up I'd be happier than most and it was a good life. I told this to my wife when they took me off for surgery but it was "just in case". Didn't want her to think I did not appreciate it. My "procedure" was pretty routine but it does make you think.

You know, if you have a shit attidude you gonna have a shit life Sebby! Mine turned out much better than I thought. My prospects out of high school was not that great. Why? Liked to party to supress what hurt. Things were not always great growing up

Phuch the world and the world will phuch you back. you get out what you put in.

I'm glad things have worked out for you. There are always exceptions to the rule.

But lets look at the divorce rates in this country. Household debt, suicide rates...depression. I think that has more to do with the pursuit of the "American dream"

And finding people that respect someone that is a good person and has a positive outlook is almost needle in a haystack status.

I'm cool with my life. I just learning not to trust or believe in people and its working.

Divorce rates are high because people either get irresponsible with the wrong people and have unprotected sex, get pregnant and feel like they have to get married even though they have no business doing so. Either that, or they feel pressured from family and society and get married when the opportunity arrises and don't take much time to get to know their partner.

We are in debt b/c of irresponsibility on both the governments part and also the people of America. With the people of America part, nobody talks about it because it will trigger a public outrage, but it's really true.

With the depression part, well it's everywhere.

Sebstar, I hope you can work things out though with whatever you might be facing it in life. I mean that and you're in my prayers.

Allanfan20 wrote:

sebstar wrote:

Nalod wrote:

sebstar wrote:Nas and Az laid it out a long time ago...Life's a bitch and then you die. Well, I'm sure somebody said it before them, but nobody put it down as cold as they did.

So that's why I do a lot of drugs and I just live my life day-to-day. They say be responsible and get a good career so you can pursue the American Dream. But you'll just end up with a mortgage that you cant pay for, a job that sucks, a wife you cant stand, a bunch of fat ungrateful kids, and a society that will tell you that you arent good enough.

And if you are able to somehow make it --- that wife of yours is gunna run off with some a-hole and take half of all your shyt cause thats the law.

Fukk this world, ya'll. Do what makes you happy. dont have kids. Be yourself and dont trust a gawddamn soul.

I stopped partying, met the most wonderful women, Married almost 25 years(she same weight as in college, when she modeled) worked my ass off, built a career,equity, equity in real estate, had two skinny ass kids who work hard and have high self esteem, and pretty much still having a blast all these year traveling and great family moments!

Still had that heart attack and by-pass but thats genetics.

You know, if my time was up I'd be happier than most and it was a good life. I told this to my wife when they took me off for surgery but it was "just in case". Didn't want her to think I did not appreciate it. My "procedure" was pretty routine but it does make you think.

You know, if you have a shit attidude you gonna have a shit life Sebby! Mine turned out much better than I thought. My prospects out of high school was not that great. Why? Liked to party to supress what hurt. Things were not always great growing up

Phuch the world and the world will phuch you back. you get out what you put in.

I'm glad things have worked out for you. There are always exceptions to the rule.

But lets look at the divorce rates in this country. Household debt, suicide rates...depression. I think that has more to do with the pursuit of the "American dream"

And finding people that respect someone that is a good person and has a positive outlook is almost needle in a haystack status.

I'm cool with my life. I just learning not to trust or believe in people and its working.

Divorce rates are high because people either get irresponsible with the wrong people and have unprotected sex, get pregnant and feel like they have to get married even though they have no business doing so. Either that, or they feel pressured from family and society and get married when the opportunity arrises and don't take much time to get to know their partner.

We are in debt b/c of irresponsibility on both the governments part and also the people of America. With the people of America part, nobody talks about it because it will trigger a public outrage, but it's really true.

With the depression part, well it's everywhere.

Sebstar, I hope you can work things out though with whatever you might be facing it in life. I mean that and you're in my prayers.

Much respect my brotha...Mutual.

The basic premise of The Denial of Death is that human civilization is ultimately an elaborate, symbolic defense mechanism against the knowledge of our mortality, which in turn acts as the emotional and intellectual response to our basic survival mechanism. Becker argues that a basic duality in human life exists between the physical world of objects and a symbolic world of human meaning. Thus, since man has a dualistic nature consisting of a physical self and a symbolic self, man is able to transcend the dilemma of mortality through heroism, a concept involving his symbolic half. By embarking on what Becker refers to as an "immortality project" (or causa sui), in which he creates or becomes part of something which he feels will last forever, man feels he has "become" heroic and, henceforth, part of something eternal; something that will never die, compared to his physical body that will die one day. This, in turn, gives man the feeling that his life has meaning; a purpose; significance in the grand scheme of things.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Denial_of_Death

That goes a long way in explaining our material and meaning pursuits. I interpret that to mean that what we own should be balanced with what augments our ego. Having a yacht and mansion isn't everything, but nor is writing the next The Great Gatsby

I don't think there's a point to material acquisition if it cannot be shared. Nor do I think there's a point to sharing without love. It's impossible to truly love another without being able to love yourself. In the immortal words of Luke

Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.

All this is long way of saying, sebby, spend some time cultivating yourself and pull joy from within.

keep on keepin on broski

Fukk this world, ya'll. Do what makes you happy. dont have kids. Be yourself and dont trust a gawddamn soul.

Seb, you know Im your man (pause), but thats one of the saddest things ive ever read. How can you possibly enjoy life with a perspective like that? Listen bro, I know you got your package in life, but we all have burdens to bear. Just giving up on happiness, trust, faith, giving and all the other good stuff in this world isnt something I can comprehend. Ive been thru more then my fair share of crud and I feel confident enough to say that to anyone but if you let it turn you into a cold-hearted statue, then youre becoming part of the cycle. Live your life, trust others as much as you can, even while knowing that they will let you down. If you dont enjoy the ride before the fall, then whats the point of it all? You might as well not be alive at all.

sebstar wrote:Yo, Nalod I missed that heart attack line....I think I'll be easy on the one foot in the grave stuff from now on, but you still hella gay tho to me. LOL. Continued health and prosperity...

Don't worry bout' the cracks, Im not 50 yet. Lots of dudes got health issues but you move on. I was working out plenty and ate pretty good so my lifestyle change is not to radical. Just no more supplimental crap any more and work outs are daily now.

If your not pulling our legs on this, then some things do make sense. That Hard patina of baddass of "Sebby" is really the protective coating we are seeing.

Problem is if you treat others harsh, like women, then how else do you expect to be treated?

If your into the party scene then perhaps its a certain type of women your hanging with and when you "take" pleasure your not giving. She is "taking" pleasure also. It all might feel pretty good at the time but its empty.

Bottom line is your a smart guy and when you get tired and want to make a change you'll do somthing about it.

Drugs anestisize your emotions and supress what hurts. You pay a price for that. Peel it away and deal with it. Its like an investment. Make it now and reep a life time of benefits.

Pick Marv's professional head. Im sure he got you figured out by now. In a good way!

I appreciate ya'll's perspectives, but I'm from the camp that love doesnt exist. The heart is a useless organ only designed to set you up for the biggest of downfalls...Fool me once shame on you...Yeah, I'm not getting fooled again.

Just look at the majority of success stories --- the biggest a-holes. They dont care about anybody but themselves.

Kindness and empathy and compassion are seen as weaknesses. Its better to have not loved than to have loved and lost. I believe that. Even worse to get embarrassed and humiliated and made to feel --- well, I dont want to get too far into my personal but I cant do that shyt no more and I dont have the makeup to take it. Just gotta completely harden the heart and keep it moving.

Dont trust again and keep everyone at arms length and you cant be destroyed. I've learned the ultimate life lesson. You gotta take that lesson and react to the message. Thats what I'm doing.

I'm just going to go hard in life and if I check out before forty or even thirty, I'm more than fine with that. Just what needs to be done.

I'm good.

(hope this doesnt come across as whining or self-loathing, it just is what it is.)

I respect what you're saying. I don't know how the specifics so I don't know how bad it was. I do know when it's bad like that though it usually is because you were tender and vulnerable, which made the sting worse and the jading more noticeable.

Having been there and resorting to the same tactics, I'd encourage you to approach the future with love in your heart. The hurt will be worse now but you grow back better and stronger. You'll evolve as a person instead of shutting off parts of your personality.

Don't lie to yourself and say you'll never think of her. Or that she doesn't matter. Because you will and she does. In time the nature of the thoughts change. In my case, adjusting my handling of the situation taught me something and I'm at peace

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty. If your cup is full may it be again.

SupremeCommander wrote:No worries seb (have you read my personal posts?).

I respect what you're saying. I don't know how the specifics so I don't know how bad it was. I do know when it's bad like that though it usually is because you were tender and vulnerable, which made the sting worse and the jading more noticeable.

Having been there and resorting to the same tactics, I'd encourage you to approach the future with love in your heart. The hurt will be worse now but you grow back better and stronger. You'll evolve as a person instead of shutting off parts of your personality.

Don't lie to yourself and say you'll never think of her. Or that she doesn't matter. Because you will and she does. In time the nature of the thoughts change. In my case, adjusting my handling of the situation taught me something and I'm at peace

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty. If your cup is full may it be again.

Appreciated. I have read your posts and shyt was deep, but I think there are different realities for different people and personalities.

Much respect to your perspectives. I think ultimately you and firefly and Nalod are right in your approach to life. At least its the most healthy and fruitful. Just not for me. :)

sebstar wrote:Supreme, Nalod, Firefly...

I appreciate ya'll's perspectives, but I'm from the camp that love doesnt exist. The heart is a useless organ only designed to set you up for the biggest of downfalls...Fool me once shame on you...Yeah, I'm not getting fooled again.

Just look at the majority of success stories --- the biggest a-holes. They dont care about anybody but themselves.

Kindness and empathy and compassion are seen as weaknesses. Its better to have not loved than to have loved and lost. I believe that. Even worse to get embarrassed and humiliated and made to feel --- well, I dont want to get too far into my personal but I cant do that shyt no more and I dont have the makeup to take it. Just gotta completely harden the heart and keep it moving.

Dont trust again and keep everyone at arms length and you cant be destroyed. I've learned the ultimate life lesson. You gotta take that lesson and react to the message. Thats what I'm doing.

I'm just going to go hard in life and if I check out before forty or even thirty, I'm more than fine with that. Just what needs to be done.

I'm good.

(hope this doesnt come across as whining or self-loathing, it just is what it is.)

right with you bro. ive had a girlfriend for the past 5 years (i'm 27) that i plan on proposing to on the 4th of july - she's a teacher whose doing a 1year masters course and her younger sister is getting married in august, so it's safe to say her life is pretty damn hectic and extremely stressful right now.

well 2 sundays ago she tells me she needs a break from us and can only tell me right now that she needs time and space to 'sort herself out.' her mom texts me on the daily making sure im good, so does her sister and my girl at this point won't even answer my texts or phonecalls. and meanwhile i'm left here to just wait for her and hope she comes to her senses, because i love her.

without getting too soft on ya'll, thats the shit i got going on now. yeah... fuck love.