Hi guys I need your advice
So my wife has an opportunity to work in London. The problem is that I would need to quit my job if that is the case. I don't want to block her career but the job position I have right now I love it and I fought hard to get it. What is your opinion?
Without more detail, it's hard to say. Just based on what you said, it seems unreasonable for you to give up a job you love and have to move to another continent. Is this a long-term job in London? If not, could you get a temporary unpaid leave from your job? Why did she even apply for a job in London, knowing what this would do to you?
the woman bends to the career wishes of the man, not the other way around,
you stay, if she feels she has to go to london to fulfill her career, then this is unfortunate
IronWillGiroud wrote:the woman bends to the career wishes of the man, not the other way around,you stay, if she feels she has to go to london to fulfill her career, then this is unfortunate
never take this advice, it's stupid and uninformed. Dude, if you have nothing to add to a thread, dont.
martin wrote:IronWillGiroud wrote:the woman bends to the career wishes of the man, not the other way around,you stay, if she feels she has to go to london to fulfill her career, then this is unfortunate
never take this advice, it's stupid and uninformed. Dude, if you have nothing to add to a thread, dont.
Yowser! Could you tell us how you really feel, martin?
Extremely tough question. What's more important to either of you, mattshaw, your individual careers or your life together?
Which option provides the most for both of you at the same time? Long term?
Suppose she gets the job in London and hates it? Where will you both be then?
Not that money should be the decision maker of the whole ordeal, but does the London job help the family financially more than your current job?
And what is the situation surrounding family/friends? Any overseas - or are you even near any now?
Definitely a question with many variables. Wish you and your wife well, whatever decision is made.
Things to take into account
1)We both have jobs currently
2)Her visa will be taken care of by the company but not mine
3)I have to sell my place
4)It is a job where she has to make a 2yr commitment
5)Cannot take leave and if I leave the company I will get blacklisted (I cannot come back to the company)
mattshaw78 wrote:Things to take into account
1)We both have jobs currently
2)Her visa will be taken care of by the company but not mine
3)I have to sell my place
4)It is a job where she has to make a 2yr commitment
5)Cannot take leave and if I leave the company I will get blacklisted (I cannot come back to the company)
I worked overseas for almost four years. While I didn't have a Mrs. to worry about, I saw plenty of alternative arrangements from other coworkers. Maybe the two of you should talk about how important this is to her, and if it is important to her, I would tell you that she should go over first and feel the whole situation out.
Maybe the two of you could visit each other regularly. Even if the married with two households thing isn't a viable option, I would say you both owe it to one another to make sure you're on solid footing before you quit your job to move to London.
The last thing you need is to get over there and her new company starts laying people off and because she's only been there for three hours she's the first one that gets let go. I kid you not - we went through massive layoffs and one of the hotshot new hire managers literally landed and was told to stay at the airport and go back home. this guy was a heckuva hire but got replaced at his former company.
Feel the situation out and phase the decisionmaking as needed. I know women need things scripted from start to finish but in this case nothing could be more foolish. If she wants this she has to show some flex so whatever you end up doing works out for the best. The things I've seen on international assignments...
SupremeCommander wrote:mattshaw78 wrote:Things to take into account
1)We both have jobs currently
2)Her visa will be taken care of by the company but not mine
3)I have to sell my place
4)It is a job where she has to make a 2yr commitment
5)Cannot take leave and if I leave the company I will get blacklisted (I cannot come back to the company)
I worked overseas for almost four years. While I didn't have a Mrs. to worry about, I saw plenty of alternative arrangements from other coworkers. Maybe the two of you should talk about how important this is to her, and if it is important to her, I would tell you that she should go over first and feel the whole situation out.
Maybe the two of you could visit each other regularly. Even if the married with two households thing isn't a viable option, I would say you both owe it to one another to make sure you're on solid footing before you quit your job to move to London.
The last thing you need is to get over there and her new company starts laying people off and because she's only been there for three hours she's the first one that gets let go. I kid you not - we went through massive layoffs and one of the hotshot new hire managers literally landed and was told to stay at the airport and go back home. this guy was a heckuva hire but got replaced at his former company.
Feel the situation out and phase the decisionmaking as needed. I know women need things scripted from start to finish but in this case nothing could be more foolish. If she wants this she has to show some flex so whatever you end up doing works out for the best. The things I've seen on international assignments...
Thanks Supreme! Thank you all
I usually come for the Alba thread, but would come more frequently if there is more action on the Alba thread. I think I have some useful advice.
1) Both take family trip to London to see if like it. You might not like it, she might not like it. might miss family/friends in the US, might miss the NY Knicks and fans.
2) Have wife to go to London and work for a few months first, to test water.
3) Start looking to see if you can get a job in London while wife works in London. It might be very difficult for you to find a job you like, or just any job at all without a VISA. Given that, wife must give consideration that you might be unemployed for some time. Or might be separated until you find a job in the UK (that you're willing to accept).
4) Then given all of these risks and sacrifices, is it still worth going to London... it better be a dream job with a good boss.
The above might be cynical, and don't phrase it the way I phrase it. Or you might have an angry Mrs. Good luck.
