Nalod wrote:NardDogNation wrote:jrodmc wrote:Glad you're still alive, Nard! Did you delete some posts here? I thought I read some of your replies, but now they're gone.
The conspiracy theory remains alive...
I deleted those posts after re-reading them and seeing just how pathetic they were. Deep down inside, I suppose that I always knew what the right decision was but was ignoring it because I'm in a rut. With me moving back to NY though, this chick wouldn't even stand a chance so why even bother entertaining anything with her? She's fucking crazy and I can do better. Damn shame though because I'm pretty conservative when it comes to relationships and would've worked through our ills if she was a different person.
IF she was a different person, there would be no ill's!
If she was a different person, she'd be off the market.
I got married young. Met my wife to be when I was 21 and she 18. Married 4 years later. I had normal couple of great girlfriends and some excellent memories but never had any design of getting with someone at that age but I was not going to stop the wonderfulness. That was 33 years ago. Married just shy of 29 years. I'd say all but one have been great!
Needless to say, Im no expert on dating. I suppose the rules change at different ages.
Nard, how old are you?
My story started off a lot like yours. I was Mr.Relationship early on in my dating life and saw myself being married young. By the time I was 20 years old (I'm 26 years old now), I had been in 2 serious relationships: one that lasted 1.5 years and the second that lasted 4+ years. The latter of my first two relationships was with the ex- that we're talking about now. As a matter of fact, I proposed to her my junior year of high school; contingent on us successfully completing college (apart from one another). Call me naive or foolhardy but I genuinely thought that I was ready to make a life-long commitment at that age and in retrospect, still feel the same way. Put aside the craziness (which I'll get to later), she comes from good stock and has a number of qualities I'd find appealing in a partner.
First off, she's pretty polished. We both graduated top 15 in our high school class from one of the better high schools in the city; she's a smart girl and pushes me/challenges me in ways that others simply can't. I feel like there are far too many girls that I can't have a substantive conversation with, which was never the case with her because of her intellect and insights. And the cherry on top is that her strengths in this regard are often my weakness and vice-versa.
We both were class officers from our high school, me Vice President and her Secretary; we also were voted the equivalent of Homecoming King and Queen as well. And the reality is that I never would've become VP or done so much of what I did if it wasn't for her encouraging me and allowing me to believe in myself. She also speaks 3 languages (English, Spanish and French) and has managed to see a significant amount of the world before she turned 26 (I'm 26 as well). I love that worldly aspect of her, as it's something that I'd love to indulge in once I finally get my money right after I start my career.
From a physical perspective, she use to be on point. In high school she did a little modeling and a few beauty pageants until about her sophomore year of college. After her 2nd year in college, she got thyroid cancer, which fucked up her metabolism/physique and she hasn't been the same since. She binge eats and has put on 60 lbs since then. In spite of that, I still find her to be beautiful/attractive. I like bigger women anyway so the added weight on a 5"10' frame doesn't phase me much. Speaking of that 5"10' frame, she use to be a runner and I like athletic women as a former student athlete myself.
So on paper, she's great....but she's fucking crazy.....Gone Girl-type crazy; Glen Close in Fatal Attraction-type crazy. In particular, she rises to the level of a pathological liar when it comes to dealing with "uncomfortable" truths and has a violent streak in her that might land me in jail if I react. And for me, all those persistent negatives makes her a no-go for me. The waters have been so mudded between us that I was genuinely shocked when I found myself contemplating the possibility of doing it again.