I didn't leave any other options cuz I feel this is a loaded topic.
I've worked in the office, stock, food service, transportation......so I've ben around as far as work locations. In my experience, I feel dating and messing around with people at work to be a no, no, oh hell no!
I been accused of sexual harrassment once and I went through a hearing and all that. The girl was lying and she got caught hard in her lie. She dropped the charges and quit the same day. We were messing around but never had sex and believe me I wanted to. I had a girl at the time and I just couldn't make time for this other chic when she wanted and she got mad and did what she did. I'm kinda scorn by that.
I've dated outside the department I worked before and it was all good, until it was over. Then I can't go down to that floor without that awkward interaction and problems. Also while you're seeing this person, it kinda kills your routine, and adds stress to the job. You can't flirt with people or meet other people. You risk arguing at work about this stuff when its not the time or place.
I work with and around a lot of older people....like 40's and 50's.....truthfully speaking these ladies are nice for the most part but they are all built like bulldogs. Even the younger late 20's-30's chics are just straight up manly looking. I'm saying this cuz I don't really have a problem with women and dating chics I work with cuz they are horrible looking. There is this one female I been avoiding for a few weeks and trust me when I tell you she is bad ass. Last night we met and finally had a huge discussion. Turns out I like the chic a lot and we click. we exchanged numbers, and myspace names, lol. Anyway we texted well wishes to each other last night and this morning. I'm like "oh oooooh"......should I tone it down and try to remain friends or invite her to dinner and smash it asap? Lmao.......from reading all of the above, you see I have a little prob.
Anyway, lets talk about dating in the work place........give me advice and give some testimonials you caca's.
It's probably more of a gray area. Certainly as long as the people are in different departments where a conflict of interest can be avoided, it's usually not an issue. If it's two people in the same department, like I've seen at a previous company, it can get awkward, especially if they break up.
Typically, if you're dating a coworker, it's best to keep it hush-hush as much as possible. While you and the other person may be total professionals about it, everyone else will judge any interaction that involves both of you as potentially being unfair, so it can get in the way of work. Obviously, if things don't work out, it can get downright nasty. Proceed with caution, but by all means, it certainly has worked out for many, as well.
[Edited by - Solace on Jul 30 2008 2:55 PM]
I should know bc this came ack to bite me on the ass multiple times. If you date someone from work and it doesn't work out in the long run your relationship as co workers will also be in disaray.
I say take it slow and develop a relationship based on trust. Nothing wrong with being friends, to start with.
That way, if it develops into something more, you'll each have a better idea of what you can expect from each other.
Be very discrete while at work.
I would say not sh@# where you eat but then again I did it and we are doing fine. At work it is strictly work but outside is a different story. All in all as long as it doesn't effect your work you are fine. You have to take in consideration if you every break up will that cause problems at work
i think a very high % of marriages are a result of dating in the work place. with that said, it's a veryy trick situation.
i've been with, i would say, 10 girls from work over the past 3 years. but i would play it cool, alot of flirting before actually hooking up. and i always make it clear that it's more of having fun type of thing instead of being serious. if they understand that initially, and you play it right, then it's all good. and make sure you are on that same wavelength too and not get all sprung after a few days.
then after a while, if things are going really good and things start getting serious, then it can possibly go to the next level as there's a foundation that's been built over time with genuine feelings and not just "new car smell" stuff.
i have never started off with a girl at work with the idea of getting into a relationship b/c that, like everybody says, can get really difficult. i work in an office so things get around really quick so it's a different environment than yours.
man, after all that nonsense i just spewed, my advice to you is to be very careful and probably keep it on the friend/flirting tip for a while. the text messages are already starting down a path that could avalanche. so pace yourself. i would avoid it if i were you. i know it's tough tho.
[Edited by - djsunyc on 07-30-2008 3:03 PM]
Every female is a Hoe in the right situation.......... you'll never be surprised once you accept this.
but if you do hook up with her, then make sure you video tape everything.
Posted by EnySpree:
I didn't leave any other options cuz I feel this is a loaded topic.
I've worked in the office, stock, food service, transportation......so I've ben around as far as work locations. In my experience, I feel dating and messing around with people at work to be a no, no, oh hell no!
I been accused of sexual harrassment once and I went through a hearing and all that. The girl was lying and she got caught hard in her lie. She dropped the charges and quit the same day. We were messing around but never had sex and believe me I wanted to. I had a girl at the time and I just couldn't make time for this other chic when she wanted and she got mad and did what she did. I'm kinda scorn by that.
I've dated outside the department I worked before and it was all good, until it was over. Then I can't go down to that floor without that awkward interaction and problems. Also while you're seeing this person, it kinda kills your routine, and adds stress to the job. You can't flirt with people or meet other people. You risk arguing at work about this stuff when its not the time or place.
I work with and around a lot of older people....like 40's and 50's.....truthfully speaking these ladies are nice for the most part but they are all built like bulldogs. Even the younger late 20's-30's chics are just straight up manly looking. I'm saying this cuz I don't really have a problem with women and dating chics I work with cuz they are horrible looking. There is this one female I been avoiding for a few weeks and trust me when I tell you she is bad ass. Last night we met and finally had a huge discussion. Turns out I like the chic a lot and we click. we exchanged numbers, and myspace names, lol. Anyway we texted well wishes to each other last night and this morning. I'm like "oh oooooh"......should I tone it down and try to remain friends or invite her to dinner and smash it asap? Lmao.......from reading all of the above, you see I have a little prob.
Anyway, lets talk about dating in the work place........give me advice and give some testimonials you caca's.
whatever you do, stop the 'in writing' stuff. thats what remains after it is all said and done. and, if it doesnt work out, loads of evidence to bury you with. with that said, look, anyone can tell you anything, but the only reality is what happens during that'moment of truth' time where youre hanging out with her, maybe having some drinks, then your bottom head takes over the top head's thinking...once that is done, its like the duane wade commercial with the angel(your top head)is on one shoulder and saying "no duane, no duane, go in soft and lay it up" whereas the devil (youre bottom head) on the other shoulder is tellin you to stepladder that bi#at$ch...so, listen to whatever you want, but youre gonna do what youre gonna do. especioally since you say she is bad azz - you know its over so accept it and go get 'er. whatever happens happens right? and, remember, its ALWAYS better to ask for forgiveness than permission....
Posted by djsunyc:
the text messages are already starting down a path that could avalanche. so pace yourself. i would avoid it if i were you. i know it's tough tho.
[Edited by - djsunyc on 07-30-2008 3:03 PM]
Yeah I know man.....last night when she text me it sounded like she wanted me to call her. I danced around that and went to sleep. This moring she gave me a "good morning have a good day text". Its cool but that's what sparked this thread. I been down that road before and a huge red flag popped up in my head.
Geez louis rice and peas she is a sexy beast though. That's the key.
we need saramae's advice...
Posted by djsunyc:
but if you do hook up with her, then make sure you video tape everything.
And post the tapes here.
Posted by EnySpree:
Posted by djsunyc:
the text messages are already starting down a path that could avalanche. so pace yourself. i would avoid it if i were you. i know it's tough tho.
[Edited by - djsunyc on 07-30-2008 3:03 PM]
Yeah I know man.....last night when she text me it sounded like she wanted me to call her. I danced around that and went to sleep. This moring she gave me a "good morning have a good day text". Its cool but that's what sparked this thread. I been down that road before and a huge red flag popped up in my head.
Geez louis rice and peas she is a sexy beast though. That's the key.
It sounds like you already know the answer. Stay away. It creates a very difficult situation at work while you are having a relationship and then afterwards when you breakup.
It sounds like you have the hots for this girl. Woman, even hot, sexy woman usually want a long-term relationship and marriage. They may not say it up front, but it is there. If you are not thinking of marriage now, then don't start dating a girl at your office.
Find a girlfriend somewhere else....maybe at a Knick's game. Then your set with someone who has interests the same as you.
It's never good to date someone at work. Sometimes being cool with the opposite sex at work might get you in trouble. Because if things go the wrong way being excused of sexual harassment will get you out of a job. You will wined up being a guy with no job, no cutie with booty, and also looked at as the daily creep if you are not fired. Not only that if things do not work out why would want to bump into someone everyday that you had a fall out with?
Going out with someone at work goes against the code of playing the dating game. There are many women out there you don't have to settle for a person at your job who might give you the smack down if things do not work out.
If you date a woman at your job be prepared to wear a jockstrap and be ready to knuckle up.
[Edited by - BigC on 07-30-2008 4:22 PM]
Ok enough about me lets break down someone else.....
Anybody else wanna testify?
I have no problem with people dating people they work with, I would just recommend that you not do it. It almost always comes back to bite you in the asse. Unless this person is truly special...........
On a side note: Stop trying to get laid and get your asse back to work!
My opinion is that I gave the best advice, then dj rephrased and called it his own advice.
[Edited by - basketballjones on 07-30-2008 17:00]
Posted by Bippity10:
On a side note: Stop trying to get laid and get your asse back to work!
You're making too many empty posts.
^In a pathetic attempt to get to 10,000 posts before me.
I would say that dating someone you work with, works maybe .001% of the time (Meaning it ends in a great marriage). That's all relationships though. However, if you think this is truely someone you can truely, without a shadow of doubt, settle down with, then I say go for it. However, I've never dated someone I actually worked with, besides maybe a few single dates, now and then. I have seen a LOT of other people do it though. I'll tell you, it almost always turns out ugly. It's also almost impossible to keep it secret, because it's a small world and if the wrong person sees you dating around with your coworkers and leaks it into your work place, then it spreads like a virus and the rumors and opinions and bad blood starts to fly everywhere and it becomes very unhealthy for the relationship.
To top it off, it does, in the end, become a big distraction to both you and your partner, when you're at work, and that distraction spreads outside of work and can also tear up the relationship.
So overall, I don't recommend it, unless if either A) it's just a random hookup or whatnot. No hurt feelings, no bad blood or B) You really really feel that this is something that can last for a very very longtime.
Good luck.
